The 30th birthday that keeps on giving

The first "official" stop on our year off was, to me at least, a surprise. The trip was my birthday gift from Mirek, and he is very good at keeping secrets. On the way to the airport, I didn't know if I was about to go on a 2 hour flight or a 20 hour flight, and usually you have to mentally prepare for these types of things.

Arriving at the airport, he had me walk around with headphones on so as to not hear what he was saying to the check-in person, and he wouldn't let me see my ticket while passing through security. Particular much?

Once safely through security, we found the nearest priority pass lounge. This turned out to be a steak restaurant that allows you to spend $28 per person, for free. It was only after ordering a delicious steak and a bottle of wine. that Mirek finally let me in on his little secret.

Let me tell you, Bali did not disappoint.

Part 1: Eat, Sleep, Repeat

After a long, 25 hour flight, we made it to Bali and headed straight to the hotel. Mirek informed me that the agenda for the day would be relaxing by the pool, and I was all in.

We also enjoyed a delicious Balinese meal with some traditional (tiny) dancers.

We also forgot to photograph said dancers.

Part 2: A rain forest, a monkey bite, and a raft

If part 1 was low key, part 2 was anything but. We ventured away from the beautiful beaches of Bali and made our way into the rainforest. Our hotel was something straight out of a fairytale.

Outdoor bathroom: 10/10, would do again.

And since this section of the trip was packed with activity, I'll let the photos speak for themselves.

Stop 1: Monkey Forest

Side note: the little monkey on the right decided that since I had no more bananas, my hair was a delicious alternative. When I decided I might not agree, the little jerk bite me. Mirek laughed. Rude.

Stop 2: Find the beer

Success, obviously.

Stop 3: Rafting down the Ayung River

Given that we shared the boat with 6 Chinese people and we don't speak Chinese, we had an interesting time trying to count to synchronize our paddling.

We recommend doing this. It was a really enjoyable way to see the river, the rain forest, and chill for a few hours. While there are some legitimate rapid, they're nowhere near "class 5" territory, and there's plenty of leisurely floating to be had.

Stop 4: Hiking up the Mount Batur volcano at 2:30am

Do this. No seriously, listen to me, do it. This was one of the best things we did in Bali.

The hike up is about 4 hours, all while it's still dark. Mirek, being a 13 year old child, did it in the dark, while I, being an 80 year old woman, had my handy dandy flashlight.

Mirek agreed to at least pretend to use the flashlight for this photo.

Once you reach the top, you get a hot breakfast served to you, and you're treated to the prettiest sunrise you'll ever see.

Our guide operated in beast mode, and I'm pretty sure we passed every other person doing the climb that day. I even managed not to fall - slips don't count.

Mirek made a new friend. I didn't much care for this new 8-legged associate.

After the climb, we stopped at a coffee farm for a much needed pick-me-up. This particular coffee is some of the most expensive in the world due to the crappy way it's made. It's called Kopi Luak, and it can run you anywhere between $35 - $100 for ONE CUP in the US.

Kopi Luwak is commonly referred to as "poop coffee" as it consists of partially-digested coffee cherries pooped out by the Asian palm civet.

It was delicious.

Part 3: Pampered Perfection

The theme for the final leg of our trip: #spoiled. We stayed at the Samabe Bali Suites for 3 nights with the all-inclusive. Mirek even hooked up a bottle of birthday champagne in the room when we arrived.

I've never had a butler before (that's not Mirek).

And each night you stay at the hotel, you get to do one "activity" of your choice. So we spent an evening having dinner inside a candle lit cave...

Unfortunately, mixed drinks aren't their strong point.

... delighted in our in-room massages...

I don't have a picture of this. Instead, here's one of our butler's hard work.

... and went on a SeaWalker Expedition.

We also made a few friends during our stay.

Take note of the duck.

However, not everything can be rainbows and monkeys all the time.

Left Photo: Mirek's (and only Mirek's) meal for the one night I was writhing in pain with food poisoning the entire evening.
Right Photo: The duck you took note of pooped in my shoe. Apparently animals in Bali like Mirek better.

And on the last day, we visited the Uluwatu Temple. It was cool, but Bali sets a high bar, so I wouldn't be upset if we'd missed it.

I would, however, have balled if we'd missed Bali. All in all, a baller birthday.