Chillin' by the agua on a beach in Nicaragua
Costa Rica was a whirlwind of stress, so we decided to dedicate our two weeks in Nicaragua to ch-ch-chiiiiillin'.
We flew into Managua and set straight out for the sleepy beach town of Playa Gigante. A straight-shot drive takes about 2.5 hours, but if you're going to chiiiiiiill by the beach for an extended duration, you'll want to make a pitstop in Rivas to stock up at the supermarket. We arrived by dark, chose which of our three bedrooms we wanted to post up in, and passed out hard.
The next morning we were treated to, like, a pretty decent view, I guess.
Strong bid for infinity pool of the year
Welcome, friend, to our next two weeks.
The place
The place. Was. Dope. We found it on Airbnb, and since the tourism industry in Nicaragua is not doing so hot, it was a pretty awesome deal. This three-bedroom pimp pad of a place comes with an infinity pool, a private beach (say wuuuut!?), two decks, a hammock, a grill, a big flatscreen TV, bose speakers - you know, the essentials.
Looking over our private beach (a sandy-ish chill area is off to the left)
I'd show you more of the house, but aparently we were so enthused about this view we didn't really take pictures of anything else.
Let's do one more, shall, we?
The private beach is too rocky for swimming (you'll need to walk 10 mins out for that), but it's a gorgeous rock grotto with hundreds of scampering crabs, massive crashing waves, and epic geysers. We loved exploring its nooks and crannies.
Not shown here: Soph's terrified shriek immediately after frame 3
Making a geyser of my own
The point is, for about $70 / night you can chill in goddamn paradise, and that is exactly what we did.
The wildlife
We became good friends with the resident monkey troop, as they loved chillin' in the trees right next to our house. The first time we saw them, we ran out excitedly to take some pictures...
Monkey poo!
... only to have the monkey above us, no joke, drop a big steamy monkey poo no more than TWO feet from my head. We were IN THE SPLASH ZONE, dudes. I'm telling you: if you've never had a monkey (almost!) poo on your head, you haven't lived.
The only thing funnier than almost getting poo'd on was Soph's daily reaction to finding spiders in the house. Because we ran into a LOT of spiders, and they were YUUUUUGE.
Left: the spiders were no-joke the size of small sand dollars
Right: can you spot the tree iguana?
These weren't your typical run-of-the-mill, squash-them-with-a-paper-towel spiders. We're talking about smack-'em-with-a-flip-flop-and-pound-'em-into-the-ground monstrosities, and Soph's scared-shitless-shrieks consistently made my day.
Other animal friends included a variety of scuttling crabs, some tiny wall-hugging geckos, a massive tree-climbing iguana, and even a full-fledged family of pigs.
Oh hi there, bacon(s)
The schedule
Our schedule was pretty similar to what Soph outlined in her Costa Rica post. Most days we woke up with the sunrise, and the vast majority of our time was spent reading, learning, coding, cooking, learning Czech and chillin'.
The view during sunrise (OK, OK, last pic of the view, I promise)
My main learning focus this leg of our trip was religion, so I spent the better part of every morning meditating on the beach, studying Buddhism (thoughts here), working my way through the Qur'an (thoughts here), and reading a book on atheism (thoughts here).
Chillin' with my morning meditation buddy (a hermit that lives by the sea)
Soph was focused on learning Czech, crushing some fiction, getting her tan on, and sticking to an intense workout program that can only be described as "insanity" (which, coincidentally, is exactly what it's called).
Mornings we drank more coffee than you can shake a stick at; for lunch and dinner we cooked our own meals; and as soon as the sun started setting, you'd best believe we cracked some dank coronas, blended up some chronic piña coladas, and mixed some masterful vodka OJs.
... sometimes before the sun started setting
March Madness and the Wheel of Ice
Our stay coincided with March Madness, and both Soph and I were in a $25 buy-in March Madness pool with the bros. We were able to stream a number of the games, and by the power of WhatsApp, some solid shit talking was talked.
We had to find some creative ways to stream the games
As one point during said shit-talking, Matthew suggested it'd be hilarious to have a Smirnoff-Ice themed wheel-of-(mis)fortune app you could digitally spin as punishment for a bro-fail. Challenge accepted!
It didn't take long to hack together a janky prototype. Introducing: www.wheelofice.com.
WARNING: don't take a spin unless you're willing to suffer the consequences. Big brother is watching you.
Aside on Jandro's bro-fail: Jandro and I had a side bet going for one of the games, where the deal was that the loser would find some creative way to ice themselves in the subsequent 24 hours.
Jandro, of course, lost the bet. And then, of course, he didn't hold up his end of the bargain. At which point, of course, he was a HUGE MOPEY BITCH about the whole thing. None of this should surprise you.
After a another day's worth of bitching he finally paid his dues, but at this point interest had accrued. Let the record show that Jandro still owes me two spins on the wheel.
Bet you can't guess who won our bracket for the second year running?
Thank you, bros, for your selfless financial contributions
The trek to town
Thrice we trekked to the nearby town of Playa Gigante to stock up on groceries and grab a drink in civilization. And two of those times we took a delightful "shortcut" through the wilderness, 'cause even though Playa Gigante is (in theory) just over a mile away, we totally sucked at getting there.
The first time, the receptionist at the resort next door told us we could just "walk along the beach." Ya. Sure.
Soph tremendously enjoyed rocking flip-flop for this rock traversal
Our beachside stroll turned out to be a sweaty boulder scramble ending with a sketchy climb up a crumbling cliff. But! It was indeed a straight-shot to town, so perhaps we're just a pair of lily-livered gringos.
Getting lost on the way to town is a time-honored Nicaraguan tradition
For our second attempt, we reasoned that said receptionist actually meant there's a path on the hill that parallels the beach. Above you can see Soph descending back down said "path," after a delightful climb up an overgrown hill that led exactly nowhere.
Eventually we figured it out. Moral of the story: don't trust receptionists. Trust Google maps.
The town
Playa Gigante is a small, sleepy beachside town that is (on your third try) just a 30 minute walk away. It consists of a single road running parallel to the shore, and sports a handful of cheap bars, a run-down restaurant or two, and two essentials-only mini-marts that look like they're being run out of someone's garage. It was... perfect.
Our favorite spot was Juntos Bar y Restaurante, nestled right up on the beach, and run by a former Canadian gringo now living the Nicaragua surfbum life.
Background bros rockin' red shorts and matching sunburns like a BOSS
The beer was cold, the piña coladas were delightful, and the sunsets were absolutely breathtaking.
Make sure to head back as soon as the sun sets, otherwise you'll be stumbling back through dark woods with a terrified Sophie in tow
We didn't spend a ton of time in town, but it was nice being able to dip our toes in civilization here and there, and not having to rent a car or deal with taxis for grocery runs was huge.
Venturing out for Soph's b-day
We all know that Soph doesn't like to make a big deal of her birthday, so you'll be shocked to hear that on March 24th we left our little slice of oceanside paradise and had ourselves a date night at the nearby town of Playa Santana.
Stunning sunsets at Magnific Rock Popoyo
We got dropped off at Magnific Rock Popoyo just in time for sunset. The place was earily empty, but the view was absolutely AMAZING. Prices were roughly double that of our Playa Gigante beachside shack ($6 vs $3 for a piña colada). Which is to say, very doable, and totally worth it.
Left: you can see our sunset-view terrace in the distance
Right: surf and turf for the win
We had dinner at Rancho Santana, located just a beach stroll away. We had a bit of laugh getting in, as the guard on patrol outside was VERY serious about making sure we had reservations. We're talking let-me-see-this-so-called-email-gotta-walkie-talkie-my-superior-DON'T-YOU-DARE-KEEP-WALKING serious. Yes, dude, we have a reservation, but if we didn't, I'm sure one of those 20 empty tables behind you would do just fine.
It was our first non-home-cooked meal in over a week - and while we're pretty damn good cooks these days, thank you very much - it was DA BOMB.
Last day by the beach
And just like that, our time in paradise came to an end. It's crazy how fast it went by: two weeks flew by in what felt like two days. We grabbed our last surviving beer, walked down to our beach, and enjoyed one last breathtaking sunset.
Sunshine don't do gooooo...
It was beautiful, and we enjoyed every last drop.
Every... last... drop...
Last night in Managua
Our flight out wasn't until the following day, so we had one more evening in Managua. Given that we'd spent the prior two weeks getting rather sick of the malty monstrosity Nicaraguans call beer, you can probably imagine our mission for the evening.
WHAT IS THIS DELIGHTFUL BEVERAGE!?
Managua was... fine. Nothing special, but there were plenty of cool bars and restaurants in our neighborhood, and we felt completely safe exploring.
We snagged some some beers with funny names, had ourselves a good laugh at how much Latin America loves Smirnoff Ice, and watched ourselves some basketball.
You could spin the wheel FOREVER here
And thus ends the Latin American chapter of our year abroad. Dear southern neighbors: your beers might suck, but damn if you aren't the chillest of the chillers. We can't wait to come back.
Parting thoughts: is Nicarague safe?
Nicaragua is currently in a state of political and economic non-chillness. In 2018 the country went, almost overnight, from one of the fastest growing tourist destinations in Latin America to a place folks watching from a distance are a little sketched out about. So what went down? And is it safe to visit?
What went down: in early 2018, the government, facing a massive federal deficit, decided to take away social security benefits, and the people took to rioting in the streets. The government reacted with violent force, and has been acting pretty sketchy since: suppressing dissent, responding aggressively to protests, and otherwise doing little to address the underlying issues.
Things have calmed down a bit since then, and tourisms is slowly starting to climb, but mostly the country has been stagnant. See here for a concise up-to-date summary.
Is it safe for tourists? In short: yes, but don't be stupid. Here's an article I thought did a good job delving into what that means. The main point is that Nicaragua is currently a shitty place to be a resident, but most of this shittiness doesn't much affect you as a tourist.
And if all you're looking to do is spend a week or two lounging by El Gigante, the answer becomes "absolutely." You can arrange private transport to and from the Airbnb; the house itself is in a guarded community; and the nearby town of El Gigante is small, friendly, and full of good vibes.
Finally, there's a silver lining to all this: Nicaragua right now is CHEAP. Everything - from housing, to food, to drinks - is about half the price of, say, Costa Rica, and no worse for the wear. So if you're looking to ball out by the beach on a budget, may we humbly suggest: go chill by the agua on a beach in Nicaragua.