It looks like Caesar's Palace!

We arrived in Rome the night of the fourth of July, where we met up with our favorite Mexican. Introducing: Alejandro Gonzalez Marcos Aurelios Muchacho Luchador LaBamba Ortega El Segundo!

Henceforth referred to as - for obvious reasons - "Jandro."

Get ready for lots of pictures of Jandro making dumb faces. Smiling is for wussies.

Day 1: Late night touristing in the name of freedom

We got to our Airbnb well after 10PM, but we weren't gonna let that stop us from doing our patriotic duty. We paid our due to the red-white-and-blue by traveling through as American's do: running from tourist site to tourist site, being loud, and taking copious amounts of silly pictures.

Jandro made a wish at the Trevi fountain...

I guess he never got his twelve-inch pianist

... we trekked to the Piazza Navona ...

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Me showing Jandro which direction to fart in

... we hit up the Altare della Patria ...

This was Jandro's take on the dab

... and we finished our freedom footslog at the Trajan Forum.

We topped off our evening with a hearty helping of liquid liberty. That's right: we drank Budweiser. And we liked it.

Looks like this guy's wish for a massive pianist came true

It was during this tour de grandeur that Sir Jandro the Perceptive noted how oddly similar Rome seemed to Caesar's Palace. You pesky plagarizing Romans, you.

Day 2: Exploring Caesar's Palace

We woke up the next day thinking: wouldn't it be awesome to walk like 12 miles in this 90° heat? Right!? ... and so that's exactly what we did. On your marks, get set, sweat!

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"Is this the Colosseum?"

Ninja kicks have been firmly established as a reliable way to cool off

Bro tanks coming in hot!

OK, OK, we'll do a cute picture too. Here you go, moms.

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This picture is cute because Jandro isn't in it

... aaaaaand time to crank the bro back up. Swag Pantheon pose, bra.

Don't let the blinding bro-ness of Jandro fool you: Soph is as bro as they get

The last sightseeing stop of our tour-de-tourist had us sweating in a different country altogether. Introducing: Vatican City!

Jandro was in good-catholic-boy heaven

The walk up to St. Peter's Square (upper right) is gorgeous, and the destination (below) even more so. It's easy to forgot how awesomely epic Rome can be.

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We finished the non-beer portion of our day touring St. Peter's Basilica - a cathedral so unfathomably big you could comfortably fit five standard churches inside and still have room for a chapel or two.

I say "we," but sadly Soph couldn't join: the scarf she brought to cover herself up wasn't enough to hide her one-two punch of skantily clad shorts-and-shoulders. Scandalous! Thank heavens she wasn't showing any ankle.

Jandro soaking in Jesus rays; Soph being sad she can't do the same

Thoroughly spent on sightseeing, we shifted gears and spent the rest of the day soothing our weary souls exploring the Rome craft beer scene.

Jandro no longer being a good catholic boy

Highlights include Ma Che Siete Venuti A Fà, which had Cantillon's Rosé de Gambrinus on tap; Open Baladin, where we met "Isaac"; and Brew Dog, located a stones-throw from the coliseum.

We also had an amazing authentic Italian dinner at Armando at the Pantheon, where we were lucky enough to snag a table without a reservation. Both the food and the wine were terrific - which is why Soph was a very sad panda when she spilled an entire glass-worth on the table.

OK fine, so maybe I misused this picture earlier for the sake of narrative

At the tail end of the night Jandro and I took to the streets, frisbee in tow, and ran around flingin' disk 'till the wee hours of the morn'. I have no photos to offer as evidence, but I can happily report that Jandro only mid-catch kicked (as in, with his foot) a Vespa one time. Which, I'm inclined to believe, is more than most clumsy Mexibros frisbeeing in the streets of Rome at 3AM can say.

Viva a Cesare e il suo palazzo!